Five Self-love Values I Learned from My Father

To My Father,

You’ve granted me so many gifts throughout my 30 years on this earth. Through your dedication to my development, well-being, and success, you’ve taught me that I am innately worthy and unconditionally loved. Most importantly, you’ve demonstrated to me that love is a verb; it must be sealed through action. Through your demonstration of love, I’ve learned five core values that I continually utilize to strengthen my expression of self-love:

Value #1: Self-Discovery

Throughout every phase of my life came a new interest, and your corresponding support. From financing my B2k obsession through purchasing every B2k CD, coming home at 8:00pm and immediately preparing to watch Survivor or the Wire with me, or buying me a keyboard (that I must have used all of 5 times) so that I could learn how to play piano, you’ve always shown immense support for everything that I found value in. Your support continually pushes me to explore interests as a means to connecting with myself, and has fueled my passion for travel and reading.

Value #2: Sacred Space

My childhood bedroom lives in my mind as one of my favorite places. You truly ensured that I had my dream bedroom and every comfort a teenage girl could ask for, including a television with a DVD component (a big deal back then) and cable, an elegant Queen bedroom set, a deluxe Aaliyah painting, and my own desktop/work area. You showed me the value of investing in space to contribute to well-being and self-development. I continue to create sacred space through dedicating areas of my home to spiritual development, including a vision/reading corner, a self-love calendar display, and a gratitude station.

Value #3: Sacrifice

I have countless stories of how much you have sacrificed for me throughout my life, but the one that stands out for me the most is when you chose to drive to Binghamton to ensure that I had money to purchase textbooks, versus participating in opening day of hunting season. Although you prepare for hunting season throughout the entire year, and take 2 weeks vacation during the same time each year to invest in hunting, you chose to prioritize my education over your most valued hobby. You showed me the value of choosing what’s truly important when required, and that the things that I value the most are worth sacrifice.

Value #4: Integrity

The number one thing that you expressed to us growing up was to tell the truth, even when it was hard. You’ve ingrained this in me so much, that when my former students describe me, I feel like they’re talking about you. The core value that lived throughout each of my classrooms was integrity (ownership of actions and missteps) and grounding conversations in truth and love. Whenever I lean into my authentic being, your wisdom constantly reminds me to express my truth, even if it’s uncomfortable or with consequence.

Value #5: Forgiveness

Remember when you told me NOT to drive my car from my alma mater (Binghamton) back home in the dark, and then I drove my car back home in the dark, and got into a car accident! I’m sure you haven’t forgotten, but after initially and justifiably telling me about myself, you’ve never brought this experience back up. You offered me forgiveness and even ensured my car was repaired before I drove back to Binghamton. Thank you for showing me grace, and for ultimately demonstrating that when I make a mistake, I should pay the price of said mistake once, not continually.

Daddy, thank you for constantly showing up for me, and most importantly, showing me how to show up for myself. Whenever I veer off course, your teachings guide me back to our home, a place that I’ve now created within myself. I love you more than I could ever express in words. Thank you for everything.

My 15 Minute Intention Setting Morning Routine